Yes, I’m back. Hopefully, my new blog posting will keep me honest. I know better than to set blog posting as my new years resolution.
Date Night Log
Date Night 01: 1/ 4 / 14 (Recreation of Yuk Yuk’s Date April 2007)
Josh and I decided to attempt to do a date night every Saturday night at home (as I would feel even more guilt asking my parents to watch Muffin some more) after Muffin goes to bed.
I wish I could say my motives were altruistic. New Year’s Eve saw our annual party (fajita fiesta), and I had invited my two “peeps” from my college days for some much-needed catch-up time. I mentioned something about a friend that I had drifted away from, that one of my friends had met. This friend, after twenty years of marriage, had decided that she was tired of her husband’s “controlling” ways and that she was leaving him. She was tired of him picking on her. When she told me all of this with a smile of pride on her face, with her husband talking to my husband a few feet away, I was oddly bereft. This couple, parents of three children, had been one of my “examples” of a loving marriage that I had looked up to as something to emulate in my relationship with Josh. This was the first couple that both Josh and I were friends with that were getting a divorce. Even now, well over a year from when she dropped that bombshell, I still have trouble dealing with wrapping my mind around it all. A part of me will never understand.
Coupled with that, my same lifelong friends that evening asked me what my resolutions were for this new year. Let me say, first of all, I do have hope for 2014. So far, it’s been pretty nice. But, as a rule, I tend to no longer make resolutions. In my life, I have kept one resolution—the first one I ever made. As a middle-schooler (I don’t even think I was a teenager at that point), I resolved to quit chewing my nails. I was to the point that I not only chewed on my nails, but when I ran out of nail to chew I would chew the skin beneath my nerve-chewed nailbeds. To say it was an unattractive and rather troubling habit is putting it mildly.
Even after midnight (Yay! I made it to midnight—thanks lifelong peeps!), I still mulled over the conversation. In the back of my mind, my sister (who I don’t believe has ever hired a babysitter so I know all of her dates have to be at home) mentioned months ago how much I would love having a Whole Foods in metropolis distance (instead of 200+ miles away) because I could go buy end-remnants of cheese like she and my brother-in-law do to have “date night.” In Pinterest and the blogosphere, I have seen mention of the concept of “date night” and intentional dating among married couples.
Which brings me to point number three: Since Muffin has been born, I can count on maybe one hand the number of times that Josh and I had a date night (especially out of the house).
I don’t want to be like my friend and be grown apart from my husband after 20 years. (Now, in the back of my mind is still this niggling thought: they had date nights, usually out of the house. Regardless, I think this idea could work.) With Josh and me working so much recently (school year for me and overtime for Josh), I have felt that we have been unable to connect as much—both so exhausted after getting home that one of us passes out on whatever soft surface we land on.
The rules for date night are as follows:
1) The dates (unless we are out-of-town) will be at home, while Muffin is sleeping (naptime, early morning, or after he goes to bed at night.
2) The dates will include Josh and me. Family night is a completely different animal. This is time for Josh and me to connect. Group dates are not on the menu either. If the opportunity comes up, it will not count toward the weekly date night.
3) In the beginning, I will do most of the planning. Josh has offered his input. To quote, “As long as it’s a movie or a game, I’m fine with it.” He did, however, offer up on Saturday that he would like to do a medieval-themed night and watch Robin Hood.
4) Unless the date specifically requires it (or Josh is on call), there will be no electronic communication technology. If Josh is on call, he can have his work phone nearby.
5) The dates will usually be (unless something comes up or opportunity strikes otherwise) Saturday evenings after Muffin goes to bed. If we take him to the upcoming Mardi Gras parades (pending Josh’s schedule and weather) that are both on Saturdays, we may have to move those dates.
6. I am not setting a “time limit” on the date. Many sites I looked at did set a minimum time limit, but, especially with his on call schedule (on call two times this month, not that I’m complaining), it is uncertain how much time or even what time he will be home. It’s all about quality time, not quantity time. Bigger isn’t necessarily better. 😉
7. We don’t dress up that often. I am not requiring either one of us to dress up, unless the date occasion calls for it.
After much thought, angst, and research of home date ideas, or date ideas in general, I decided to do something Parent Trap-py: recreating one of our earliest dates, our first Canadian date, in fact. During Spring Break back in 2007, I flew up to Canada to meet Josh’s family and spend time with him. We had scheduled a trip to Toronto (much love for Toronto and its lovely subway system) to see the Great Canadian Laugh-Off at Yuk Yuk’s in Toronto on April Fool’s Day.
So, I mushed a bunch of blogger date ideas together. We would attend a showing at Yuk Yuk’s in the privacy of our own living room. Yuk Yuk’s channel on YouTube (and a few other people who posted their own performances—some even from that fateful date in 2007) had posted the finals from 2011. So, I made me a little YouTube playlist, made a teaser slide show of pictures from my trip up there, and made a bill of fare with the description of the Laugh-Off and a “bill of fare”–popcorn, candies, beer, and drinks. I (cough cough) insisted that Josh drink one of his Molson’s that he bought from the local alky store.
And then—we realized that we had forgotten the Saints-Eagles matchup was going to be Saturday, rather than Sunday (playoffs Saturday, really???). And the Saints were playing in the later of the two games. So, our eight o’clockish date was pushed back to after 10.
Some things I learned—YouTube seems to have a lot of malware on it. The full-screen feature on YouTube will undo each time a video advances in the playlist (or from the malware). Also, said malware made the videos run slowly.
We managed to watch a couple of them before retiring to the bedroom to look at apps and games to play together. The second half of the date was a lot more fun (and beneficial) than the first. Oh, well. The best laid plans. Maybe we will try watching the playlist again later from the laptop.
Josh liked the games we found best. He is trying to be very diplomatic by not saying what he liked the least. (Although he did agree with me that YouTube’s technical issues were a bit of a downer.)
I kept this date a secret, and I plan on keeping the next one a secret, as well (That way, if I have to change the plans in mid-stream, I don’t look so spastic.).
P.S. If you are looking for laughs, I am including the link to the playlist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqCamshFop4&list=PLsJmI1rigpNcOel3ghBHS04I7iHW5PBh0